its just me yea !!!

2006-12-13T23:13:00.000+08:00

its being weeks since i came here .. wow many commitments one aft another .. i just wonder now if its better to rest and do nothing !!

okay LTC camp was a big eye opener for me. once again i brought home many lifeskills that i could evr imagine, last year as a camper now as a faci. i really would want to go back next year to put into good use the facilitating techniques. Ltc brought me closer to quek ma'( as usual we still call her that ) she's a well-focus person with great mental strength, i've got so much to learnt from her- her obseravnt-ness, her paitence, her staraightforward-ness, her mantal strength, her tactfulness, her eloquence, her foresight and her compassion. and of course ryan, i do see myself sometimes in him. ryan commit mistakes w/o realising them all the time cause he's too used to that kind of speaking and bahaviour. i learnt to tolerate and guide him along as a partner ..

WORKING followed a day aft LTC. okay CK is okay aft all, frankly speaking i do regret not going back to Emporio Armani the last time. i felt so redundant in the store as ther's so many staff .. total of 5 part timers and 4 full time in such a small store. i have to be so careful with all the things i do , those superior seniors all gonna find the culprit for every mistakes or fault they find .. wat the fuck la !! 85% of the time they r reprimanding us 4 the sake of vending their anger !! at least in EA i get to do sales - sth that i love, but here its really 2nd class part timer, fold clothes, find clothes, keep clothes... wa liao sian la !!! but i thnik i'm just gonna hang on ba i guess gor as long as i can .. as least it pay decently well - $6 an hour for market price.

and also these days i'm thinking if i should take up mdmho's offer of doing relief teaching at my sec sch .. i 1 2 try it out, given that this job can really be quite irritating and frustrating . i want to do a clerical job sth diff for once sth that i lik to do .. prob working at BORDERS surrounding by my best companions-books. thats just a wild tot thou

and also PROM NITE here are some photos from the NITE. its really a wonderful nite 2gether with my great council mates ... it was a surprise we got the Students VIP table beside the staff VIP table .. hahah:P $110 is really worth it .. the food at fullerton is great only if its ten course sadly its buffet... i've not gotten two small servings lor !! the host and games and lucky draw was sth new!! its a real pity theres only 200 of us but its ok .. goods things r rare anyway hhahaha :p its a 10.5/10 wonderful event :p

im falling asleep now .. got to work 2mr upload the prom pics soon .. bye

2006-11-22T23:44:00.000+08:00

i've found two jobs after finding myself rotting after the As ... holidays are weird i just cant seem to enjoy myself as compared to school ... okay anyway i'm working at Calvin Klein Forum shopping mall and i am a part time tution co-ordinator too .. if u guys or know of some one who r keen in being a tutor or finding tuion .. just call or tag me :p yup price negotiatable ..

haha i'm working again aft two years .. sigh time flies and soon i will be working permenantly for good !! well before that i would need to worry abt my As and UNI .. anyway i was thinking of being a teacher ,..a chinese teacher. i met mdm ho , my sec sch teacher today she was suggesting that BV needs refief teaching .. and also her son needs chinese tuition :P she offered to recomend me for it ... okay i not too sure if i should take it up . u know being a teacher is more than teaching knowledge and skills. its being an example and role model , at least some one should have passion and paitence for teaching . i dun think i've got wat it takes u know .. hmmmm ... wat do u think ?

well for uni its really confusing ... i'm considering going beita or fudan should i really take up a chinese degree .. i'm looking forward to the challenging syllabus there but i'm not prepared to live independently by my own. wo surviving on my own thousands miles from home, i'm not too sure especially when i've being to their( disappointing) campus.or wells if i decide to study econs/business.accounting den prob i will stay in s'pore.

and also NEW BLOGSKIN .. hey dandelion is a fresh new idea here. i hope to be like a dandelion - to soar the skies .. carefree and nice ...

i'm back

2006-11-15T23:27:00.000+08:00

The end of A levels marks the end of ... EVERYTHING !!

i'm back for good. its the end for every nice memories in Nanyang. it seems lik just yesterday when i was in my BV uniform for Orientation. sighzzz good times ends before u know it.
i'm gonna miss Nanyang a lot i guess. my second home. the first time i felt proud for being in this big family. my teachers my friends my councillors made up this big loving NY family.
28th SC especially.

fine the As was okay ... GP was a big flop-as usual !!! my command for this ABC lingo is so pathetic la!! the paper was pretty manegeble with some tricky stuff but i just flopped e whole thing :X!! LEP was good .. the paper wasnt that bad as i expected, but i made a huge mistake for p2 - okay so there goes my B. maths wat can i say man- gut feeling doesnt work here !! ECONS its worse than pathetic .. e paper is not exactly difficult but wat e hell my skills r lousy lor just doesnt seem 2 get the qns !!

well now i've all the time in the world so here goes my to-do list :
1) learn driving
2) pack my closet and room
3) do up braces .. haha i wonder wat i will look lik @_@ !!
4) my plan for LTC
5) prepare for prom ... the tot of that just make me wanna faint
6) find a feaking job
7) time for some reading
8) learn make up ???!!
9) learn piano .. for that i need $$$$$
10) running cycling blading swim -- to burn those fats accumulated for 6 months
11) think abt wat to do aft results
12) PLAN COUNCIL CHALET !! * anyway u guys wanna a chalet around feb ?? tell me ok*
13) giving tuition -- maths chinese :P
14) to be continued if i think of any ...

for thos ewho r still fighting the big A .. JIa you okay
and if u guys finiah ur exams call me .. i'm sort of rotting here :p

2 more days to liberation

2006-11-13T01:00:00.000+08:00

2 more days to liberation from public education !!

i'll be back soon :P
muhahahahaha

2 DAYS TO A LEVELS

2006-10-29T14:14:00.000+08:00

2 DAYS TO A LEVELS ...

did u mention A levels ??!!!

dusty dusty ...

2006-09-09T21:18:00.000+08:00

time to clean up this dusty place .. sigh its 52 days to A levels .. nothing numbs the brain den maths ... cant seem to think properly aft maths :( regret reshuffling my schedule should have revise maths early so that i can make it for tuition yesterday ... now i have no one to ask when i have qns!! * if only i had classmates lik vantan's that i can go to :( *
the countdown clock on ny's website reminds me of wat mr quek said " u look at the clock and ur heartbeat will synchronize with it !!" i think i'm going to boycott the website soon -_-!!

updates updates : went for sweez birthday on tues !! haha :P well its a comfortable five with jinfa weijun candice swee and me !! haha nice evening lazing and talking at cine .. its good to take a break once in a while! i'm sure its the best birthday swee had in his whole life man .. rite swee ?? i was thinking abt the wedding btw wj and sweez that nite on the MRT .. they give me an impression that they r getting married???!! * laughs hysterically *

one more day to maths paper ... i'm crossing my fingers abt it.
for all of u out there thats suppose to be studying now .. JIA YOU !!!

rethinking the purpose of life...

2006-08-13T00:08:00.000+08:00

updates .. i went to the fireworks festival on tues with the 28th. yup its being a long time since i went out with them, i really missed their company a lot !! we used to spent SO much time together , breathing sleeping eating dreaming with each other. i gonna missed them even more as we graduate and part our ways ...
well the fireworks were spectacular !! ++ woo huuu ++ thou we had to brazed bottleneck that nite everything else was nice .. the company the coffee the laughs and chats.

i had to mention this again that i love reading dezhi's blog. Being born a thinker, he just cant stop penning his thoughts profoundly i guess. he thinks ( very hard ) when he blogs, his entries many times made me think too. thought provoking indeed. here's an extract dated on 3rd of august " the fact is thinking about good things in the past dont make them come back. it only make the present semms bleaker " + laughing loud+ i often asked myself why do i always think of the past when the present need a lot more attention !! blame it on hours of bus no. 24 rides everyday- idle moments lik that always make me think of the past. even though i'm no longer in the familiar environment any more, but memories were still there, sitting deep in me *bleah* they are lik my shadows reminding me of my identity and ups and downs in life. its just doesnt go away no matter how hard i try. moving on a big major that i have yet to mastered i guess.

enough of my pessimist blabber , here;s sth hearterning :p

u know i'm not particularly close with any council teachers, thats sometimes make me feel distant from them. but now i know i'm wrong ....
i received an e-mail from miss chiew recently. miss chiew well forever be miss chiew. she went thru all of our results carefully studying every one of them , and she decided to mail us her tots and encouragement. frankly i was really surprised that she would take the pain to go thru every detail of our results in order to assess us. ( i guess my own CT doesnt even do that !!) i am touched no doubt , and at the same time disappointed in myself. so not leaving up to their expectations and all ....

council lesson is a long journey that goes beyond the college term :P
teachers r lik gems in this world, they r always around u but u have to discover them urself and they worth a lot to u aft that.

This is the game of concentration !!

2006-08-07T21:38:00.000+08:00

today i finally understood how dolling up oneself could be so exhilarating !! sch has always been short on monday, but thats an extra pinch of fun today where u see ppl coming in officewear !! i love my black dress today ! muhahahah :p i always tot the dress is far too mature for me, well actually i realised it doesnt aft all! oh did i mention tat some of the guys r really cute in their shirts tie and pants muhahah !! i think benjamin looks really cool in jeans shirt and tie !! i love tze rong's shirt its so chic yet smart looking yeah ! he does have some fashion sense aft all !! i wish i had ruo ci's black top( G2000 stuff !!), its really smart yet slinky, nice to go with straight pants !!

i;m missing my bro's digi cam ! i could have load today's pics up here too ! but sigh! anyway the fashion tips in today's seminar is great ya!! well at least for me - the speaker is so entertaining and we counldnt stop laughing .. lol. well most importantly i find their make up tips most useful - especially if u got sabo to be the make up guinea pig !! other then being scrutinize by hundreds while the professionals play on my face, the whole experience is great !! thanks PQ and auds for saboing me aft all !

i got my brows threaded ( for free ! u guys got to pay rite ??)-- its totally agonizing, its so painful , but its really nice to see my reshaped brows, as they say shaped brows make ur features more defined ! ( *looking into the mirror * hmm ... really ??!! ) and sure they applied the basic make up steps ... foundation.concealer.eye shadow.blusher.lip stick. two words: simple/standard ! i totally love this experience - having the know-hows to doll up ur face FOR FREE, and u get to look really nice aft tat lol :P ** smiles delightfully ***

well on top of it all ... SCHOOL'S OUT FOR THREE DAYS !! well time to replan my schedule i guess ... for play for rest for study for family! see u guys in school on friday.

** and wei jun if u so happen to read this ( 2nd tot: did u mention tat ur com broke down ??!! ), i'm actually ( STILL) waiting for u to finish ur call with ur DD ... sigh his my love rival no doubt!!**

finally back

2006-08-06T22:46:00.000+08:00

much apologies people ... mid year exams followed by the breaking down of my computer very much contributes to my delayed blogging. all thanks to my bro.in.law who spent more than two weekends servicing my silly computer. now i know why my sister actually falls for him, he's one determined and humble man. hmm ... i think i'm falling for him *opps* ??

well what have u guys missed out on ? my mid years?? well not exactly much to mention when i've gotten unglorifying grades of D D E. i'm lazy i've to admit it. i've still got a long way to go judging by the fact that my 3/2 years in NY is spent either on council or slacking . yes so if u guys out there, do see me hanging around doing nothing pls remind me to study yup ?

what else?? my brother's wedding !!! wow thats sth nice to mention. wedding is always a wonderful event. i love weddings where two different entity coming together, pledging their love for one another. i think its not easy to come a decision to marry someone, after all you have to live with this men/women for the rest of ur live !! a long journey lies ahead after marriage, i really wonder how couples actually last so long, weathering storms together and sticking with one another thru thick and thin. i guess love behind all that isn't ??

counting down its less than 90 days to my A levels. i really wonder if i will be ready in time. i actually soberly asked myself the other day if i have a plan in mind. my ans is NO. ive never been so lost in my life ever !! i'm not very confident in deciding on my education option aft my As, so apparently i;ve not set a goal for myself to work on yet ! sigh( x 1000) while talking to wei jun, i think i've sort out my thoughts these days that my upmost priority is to sharpen myself for the battle in November. i guess my education option could be decided aft that.

morever, this few weeks is a rough pact for me. ive lost in a freindship battle recently. i think i'm not able to understand king yu nowadays. as in i cant decipher her actions/words spoken to me anymore ! its not as if she doing this for the first time or she;s speaking in alien language. its just that i cant tolerate her disrespect for the teachers and her condesending attitude against every thing around her ( and that includes me !). she begins to bahave lik tat aft her grades improve this year !! + wat the f*** !!!+ i hate snobbish ppl i really hate them when they are of no substance at all !!! she was a really friend to give sound advice and encouragment when i'm stressed out in the past !! but what happen?? i cant tolerate anymore or should i say too tired to tolerate .. COME on . hui min she doesnt even bother now if wat she says hurts u a not ??!!! what should u bother ?

maybe its a blessing in disguise, when zhen you and tze rong hangs around with other gangs/ zi jia is only bother with her. i guess u have more time for urself , u can spent ur breaks wisely by studying rite ?? YES, morever i know i have ppl who do really care for me still :P. i know wei jun u will always be there .. love u wei jun !! and julian too .. my best brother !

i think tats all for now ba .. i've got some LEP test to revise !! or should i catch some sleep instead ??!!

new skin

2006-07-10T03:13:00.000+08:00

hey guys apologies for not updating this place for a long time .. well i've change the blogskin and added a new slide show under "who's me " .. so do explore ya

yup rushing rushing to finish this cause i want to watch the WORLD CUP finals .. tata fo watch le
update another day :p

council invest

2006-06-08T19:44:00.000+08:00

29TH COUNCIL INVESTITURE

23RD MAY

jun jun and candice .. my best sistaS ever :p

WELCO's the best man .. all 8 of us :p

* yes lester pls pls pls do a good job for ur council term and dun make ur mentor du lian*

okay sandar is lik not suppose to be here lor !!

here we have .. ( a part) of the council .. we have stepped down .. finally... relunctantly

and here's a random picture of sweez !!! haha this guy was caught leaving for invest in his adidas shoes !!! wa liao BLUR KING LE !!

vantan wat r u trying to do here?? !! -_- "

council investiture

2006-05-23T18:52:00.000+08:00

i just refused to post blogs these days cause its gonna make me upset again.
COUNCIL TERM had ENDED. investiture this morning make me rethink about the council and i

tribute to the 28th :
回首来时路，是走得多么艰辛刻苦。满负荆棘的这条道路，就有你们陪着我。是你们在我想放弃时，给了我一个鼓励的拥抱。当我发脾气时，容忍我，当我郁闷时，开导我。是因为有你们，我才能一路走来。在你们身上，我看到了友情，责任，付出和牺牲。因为有你们，我领悟了团结的力量和友情的真谛。南初第二十八届学生理事会，你们所给予我的鼓励，让我再不向苦难低头。这一年的点点滴滴将化为我心里永恒的记忆。

i guess our job now is to give 29th our upmost support and encouragement. 29th jia you !!

Mothers day

2006-05-14T09:59:00.000+08:00

here is the legendary hao chen !!! he woke me up in my sleep this morning :p ha ha ha. so funny la . i woke up and saw two big eyes half filled with tears. SO CUTE !! well this big bald boy here went for a haircut yesterday - "shao lin xiao zi" as my sister call him.

well i spent lik the entire day playing with him lor -- some how i cant stop myself from cuddling him when he's within 100m of reach. too bad i can only study when he's asleep -- lik at midnight ??!! so sorry brothers, cant go movie with u guys -- cause this guy is around and i've got a bigger opportunity cost here.

well today's mothers day- MUMMY, HAPPY MUMMY DAY !! hey i really think being a mommy sacrifice a lot. my mum had a hard time living with my grandma in the past, being married to a domineering husband lik my dad ( hahah!!) can really be a hell. but i guess she endure through the years eventually :p and my sister -- splitting herself btw family and work. i have to say its really tough. from those physical pain during pregnancy to the stress from office. sigh its difficult being a modern mums.

i sometimes wonder what would i be when i am a mother myself-- ok its a bif far rite ??? would i be even married in ten years time ?? haha i cant imagine myself being committed to my child 24/7 and work at the same time ??!! ok maybe i would just be a spinster all life .. ha ha ha jokes aside-i think i still have a long way before i become a mom.

being 17 not yet 18 is pretty weird its lik in the middle of no where. i was planning to learn driving this year, and suddenly i was reminded that im turning 18- legal age to bet,drink blah blah but still cant vote and be consider an adult. this morning my sister was telling me abt university life, relationships, hostel and blah blah blah, well i'm no longer a young girl any more i guess - HAik! ( quoted from jinfa)

new blog skin

2006-05-12T02:03:00.000+08:00

hahaha ... was actually planning to mug last aftnn to lik 2am today. in the end i went to the sinseh came back and sleep watch tv den end up changing my blogskin .. so productive rite ??

well even my dad realise that i am very free nowadays .. ya council is more or less done now. apparently i should start clearing my overdue homework. my incomplete LEP files were for checking recently and the CL HOD paste an post-it to remind me of my missing work ... one word : SIAN

mr kwek was mention during assembly today we still got 173 days to A levels and 58 days for each subjects !! haha .. once a maths teacher also a maths teacher. i think mr kwek is some one tat can do good to this college. he's willing to get his hands dirty ( involved) to achieve wat he set out initiallty ( the june studying scheme -with him atking all the attendance !!) . he's really good in making u gulity for not studying . ok i study when im back from shopping 2mr :p

going warehouse sale with my mum tmr . i need a lot of things now .. denim skirt, top , nail polish, flats, sandals, track shoe, new stationary( they r all running out !!) and many more. yup wish me good luck to grab some good deal tmr, should be later rite .. yes its past midnite now :p

speakin of this new blogskin ... wat do u guys think ?? all tired and sian now ... aft all this editing i still believe that my previous blogskin is nicer . i was quite irritated by the redundant and ugly scrollbar at the right side of this entry .. couldnt seems to get rid of it. can any one enlighten me >>??

its late now .. i was planning to wait for my bro to come home .. looks lik he's not gonna be homw tonight. i shall go lock the door now .. and go sleep. bye :p

so its time .........

2006-05-10T19:03:00.000+08:00

yes i think its really time for me to clear the cobwebs here . just had this sudden urge to blog today. finally aft the LEP paper today i feel tat i deserve some time to watch tv and web surfing. today's LEP paper is crap !!! so sian seems lik can never ans the essay qns properly -_-" okay wadever its over i shall move on. well hao chen is coming over on friday, dun think i can study when he's around !!! but i dun mind hahah "p

well wat can i say man --- invest is on the 23rd of this month. officially step down from the office. guess i dun have any more excuse for me to doze off in class and delay homework :P i just remembered that the 28th were told to write a letter to ourselves when we stepped up last year.. i wonder wat happen to it ??!!!

wat can i say again --- im gonna miss council when its all over( thou its some what over now ) these days its become automatic for me to go to the SC room when i have break .. what the hell la -- i cant do that in 2 weeks time :''< well i guess this proves that council is more than a CCA for me. i forgotten who told me this -" council is not a CCA but instead its a lifestyle" yes it is a lifestyle. when im in it, i live by council, eat by council, sleep thinking abt council :P

when council its over, i think i had to return to the main stream again lik wat swee wei said. BUT i think i'll just be a loner and go mug lor :P haha yes speaking of mugginh i think its big time i start studying la !! since the beginning of this year -- its cramp studying for test lor = sian and lousy results. do u guys have any idea how to improve on essay writing?? - sian my econ LEP and GP essay a bit CMI.

and for sth to look out forward to- MY BRO'S WEDDING in july follow by DINNER AND DANCE in december :P SO here;s a little advertisement on behalf of my sista wei jun

DINNER AND DANCE ON THE 5TH OF DEC
PRICE : $110 ( COLLECTED ON 3 INSTALLMENTS)
1ST COLLECTION: TMR - 11 MAY :p

seeking some solace

2006-04-19T12:37:00.000+08:00

yes its being ages since ive came here. Since ive been abandoned in the council room all by myself today, ive decide to uodate my blog den.

well this week was full of shocks shocks and mre shock. some one who was close to me told me tat she had dropped of sch some time lik 4 months ago !!! the reason was so complex,she was suffering in silence just because of others misdeed. she is really strong to have overcome all these torment. nd i only knew of it aft all these years ...

den another revelation was the coming together of two wonderful souls in my life .. hahahah .. *opps did i mention council life* well now i believe tat with love u can triumph thru anything hahaha ...

ok time for asembly now. well at least theres pre-camp later on.. sth tat i look forward to :P

mei yi ci he ni fen kai, mei yi chi bei ni da bai ....

2006-04-02T16:05:00.000+08:00

今天有一种很想恋爱的感觉。是很强烈很强烈的欲望。也不知为何会这样。可能是昨晚的那场梦吧！梦见和梦中人一起去家族祭示，身为长孙，他就拉着我当着所有亲戚去祭拜他祖宗。他眼神倾心地看着我，然后就紧紧地抱着我。不知为何，梦醒后，我还是清楚记得他拥抱的温暖，和我当时完全屈服于他怀抱中的感觉。好像有你在全世界塌下来，我都不怕。。。
太奇怪了！

我觉得我的生活又到了不知该怎么办的十字路口。快从council 退下来，想集中火力于 council camp 的筹备工作，可是 block test 的成绩又表示我需要多努力 K 书。真不容易，姐又刚把她的补习学生接给我，我该怎么应付呢？how i wish someone dear to me is right here, ready for me to share my worries with him.

its raining cats and dogs outside. i have a craving for ICE CREAM suddenly !! dun feel lik doin any work this weekend, dun care i just dun feel lik studying for today :P went for ancestral worship this morning. its lik an mini gathering, those granduncles and all i always see them but i coulnt recognize who's who cause all look so alike and there's so many of them !!! i think i lik ancestral worship cause my family can get together entirely one sunday morning.

i went on a recee trip with council yesterday. actually its more of a trekking trip than recee trip for council camp. together with cleo johnny candice pen and audrey we treks from macRitchie all the way to bukit timah. this is the first time im doing something lik tat , and this is the first time im going up at BUKIT TIMAH !! that reminds me , the whole trekking trail is 14km and i can start shading my trek-aloton log card now :P we went up the tree top trail, its was rather high up but the view was magnificent! i could see the BUkit timah nature reserve that we r heading too. we had to jump across large drains, apparently audrey and cleo cant get themselves across(*evil smirk*). there was this path where we werent very sure where we were and there wasnt any directional signs or any one around. worst was pen cant find where we r on the map !!! apparently it was the right way aft all :P
the rest was lik so steady and i was the only one tats panting and requesting to rest !! i think its time for me to go run and train my stamina man !! also aft we came out from the nature reserve , we saw the railway tracks at dunearn road !!! ive never seen the s'pore railway before yesterday was the first time i saw the railway train (* blush*) hahaha !!

it was indeed a tiring day, then i still had to meet weijun at orchard. this girl is real heartless to request for a shopping trip aft i treks for 14kim in the morning (*laughs*) swee and i went to help her but present for her ad-hocians la .. and i realise tat i had to go cause vantan beefong and cunzheng r all in her ad hoc la -_- ''' !! shopping had not been my forte esp when im lik so tired already :( hopefully ive been of some help for u weijun !!

ok aft all this blogging its time for my ice cream!!!

Mugging mugging

2006-03-16T00:06:00.000+08:00

Cant stand LEP any more .... i was trying to memorise the ci yu from the "M" series then suddenly i had the urge to blog up here. so ive decided i had enough of LEP and i needto REST !!!

well i was wondering these few days how one's memories could stick to some one for so long. i went to visit ms peh at SGH last saturday aft O2 protocol briefing. her cancer cells had spread to her knees and she need an op to remove the tumor and bone debris. she is still as strong as ever, her will to live on is so clear and uncomplicated. the way she say her " you know" "ahh, tats right" just brings me back to her english lesson at the Humanities room back in the old BV block.

memories of the way she pressed us to write fast and precise for our summary and those model descriptive essay from the rest of her students ... the list goes on. if not for her" YOU BETTER LISTEN, OR ELSE I'M GONNA KILL YOU AND HANG YOU IN ACID RAIN", i wouldnt have gotta my B3 for english ....
- ms peh you have to live on, for the fact that threre are so much we have not repay you. you have to live on to see your students shine ......

call me a nolstagic or someone who always dwells about the past. i just couldnt let go of the past no matter how hard i try. the joy the pain the agony the adrenaline, i like reminisce them again and again. i draw comparison btw the past and present but never the future. past is something i can just immense myself into in ease, i dun need to anticipate any "hicups", i can just let my mind go thru the past process and altering the parts that i dun lik ...

its bad to coup oneself up in the past. ya, i know abt that but i dun lik the fact tat "ppl forgets and avoid the past" just lik tat. usually when i need to cope with council and sch, i have to be practical,be forward-looking and all. but when im in my private space, i would love to escape to my sanctuary of past-reminiscing .....

The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact, a return to the idealised past.
Robertson Davies, "A Voice from the Attic", 1960

block test and others

2006-03-10T13:29:00.001+08:00

long time since i came this dusty place. well block test being URGENT AND IMPORTANT at the moment had deprived everyone of any free time they had la !!! BUT i had to blog today, i need to let out my emotion NOW !!

CASE #1 : zhen you commented that my attitudes sucks recently, he was refering to my agitation whenever someone pick of my flaw !!! i was rather disturbed by tze rong criticism too- he was amazed tat i am still able to survive with my low level of EQ in council !! sigh wat can i say man but tats true ... back to the topic of no one understands. no one can truly understand what another is going thru isn't ??? well i guess its just me to rebuke anyone who doubts me - HOW CAN U DOUBT ME MAN I AM THE MIGHTY HUIMIN !!! thats probably whats going on in my head man. haha i seem to deny the fact tat i am overbearing all tht time.

i guess zhen you & tze rong meant well, i've just got to learn to accept criticism graciously. sorry bro if i sounded nasty today.

CASE #2 : was having LEP lesson on liu yong poetry. we were learning abt one of his poems tat marvel the value of companionship. i didnt know tat ancient chinese valued compainship so much. he wrote abt ship sailing back home and he missing his friends back at the home town.

tats really wat i lik tat poetry. this beauty of words had been penned thousands of years ago till now. li bai used to wrote abt this poetry on the moon is sees when he was drunk. i was revising the poem one night and suddenly theres a full moon i front of me. well tats the very moon tat li bai saw to pen the poem thousands of years ago.... that magical feeling is beyond description.

i shall stop here now. TIME FOR LEP.

sister's birthday

2006-02-25T23:16:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY SIS !!!

yes shes 30 already and tat reminds me i amturning 18 soon

i dun feel lik one thou

remember couple of years back in sec sch i was wondering wast life wonld be when i'm 19 and my sister being 31 !!! sister married, whissing around with her children and i muggung in college everything is somewhat lik i had imagined.

in a blink of an eye im 18 already !!

well my sister spent her birthday differently for once in her life

she spent her day with tungsing bro and her precious hao chen

AND HE'S COMING TOMORO!!

isn't hE adorable ?? *** pinch pinch ***

he's been idolise lik a star now at home

tat was taken 1 month ago, he's much bigger now

im totally astomished by his growth man !! babies grow SO SO extremely fast !!

well thou his arrival sort of intrude my leisure life most of the time

but i have to admit that he had brighten up very much of the family

haha my dad gets so elated whenever he comes visiting

everyone would exclaimed in delight for his every little smiles and expression!!!

its really hilarious to see them behaving lik kids all over again ** laughs**

even before my bro and sis karen married

he would always bring her home for the night

thou they r holding their customary wedding soon this july

but the idea of them sharing ONE SINGLE bed for the night

is sort of strange
as times goes by, it seems tat ive gotten used to it

Before i end of, JJ had recently released his latest album, im totally broke nowadays

zhen you came to the rescue with a copied cd of his album!! haha thanks zhen you

anyway still searching for THE song tat captures my heart

searching... searching

well its time to go back to my mugging again

once again, to those tats reading this rite now, GO MUG TOO !!!

friday is here again

2006-02-24T20:06:00.000+08:00

friday is here again. yeah !!! finally its friday again. well im taking longer then ever to blog nowadays.... haha wat can i say man-i seems to forgot all abt it sometimes. lets see wat had happened this week ..

MON: well as usual i went for tuition aft class. i was pondering if i should support samuel @ campus superstar revival round before i made the decision 2 go for tuition. i didnt know he was tat good till i saw his live performance at THE ONE on friday. apparently i missed out on quite some fun cause vanessa was saying samuel performed awesome-ly tta nite. well i felt tat samuel did have strong competitors tat nite and also less popularity too. i sometimes wonder how he juggles his work and with this competition. thou those late nite mon recordings and singing class, i still him sitting in the canteen on tues morning --- amazing

WED: super short day, excused from 1215 to attend Hwa Chong Istitutution Council Investiture with wei jun. haha. the 2 of us were pretty unglam la-wearing those choking ties, long sleeve blouse, thick blazer some more waiting for the bus in the scorching 1 pm sun. the comedy didnt end there, we took 156 at the correct bus stop only aft going the wrong one at 1st and didnt know where to alight apparently, upon arrival we were then asked to present our invitation card which the council lost last week !!!!

okay tat sound horrible but fortunately we were at least early, so we were brought on a school tour by our usher, Charles. ask wei jun man, she had a VERY GOOD IMPRESSION of him -- **grins** he's typically sunshine boy thou, tall tanned and well-toned body (tats my assumption thou, but how bad can it get when u r in track/ field and volletball at the same time ??) he's eloquent defintely but somehow a little shy ... ok i admit he's rather cute **smiles**

well wat really impressed me was the school culture and the students down at HCI. being only a sec sch, the sch had a whole lot of experantial programme tat students could strech themselves, they had the BICULTURAL prog, the GEP, LEP and i dun kkoe wat else man. many facilities in the sch r named aft their founder and co-sponsors, i am mesmerised by the history of the sch man. a sch with such rich history and culture have very vibrant sch life too. we saw their h2o polo & track and field training when we left, charles told us its their sch's gold-clinching CCAs. well i had a deep impression of their councillors too, the scale of their projects is pretty daunting. their had ice-skatinf trip tat brings the whole sch together !! and a student leaders convention tat sees youth from around s;pore and the world for conference !! esp the speech by the outgoing president ( who is a J1 in hcjc), was so moving and eloquent that i felt proud for him too.

i spent much effort bloggin this event down cause it had a deep impact on me, it was eye opener tat allowed me to take at a look at the life of students at the other end of the education spectrum, they r future doctors, diplomats, lawyers, minsters of s'pore. the energy and social graces r amazingly diffrent.also being a chinese sch, the students displayed a understandable standard of appreciation for the language and history. well ive not seen any sch lik tat before !!!

wat can i say man, wed's investiture sets me thinkin abt my own appreciation for education .... there lives some teenage prodigy sitting for the A levels at the nd of this year, wat abt me ?? am i going to be defeated just lik tat... well at least not w/o a good fight ..

" yup fight on man,huimin!! "

SIGH ....

2006-02-17T13:35:00.000+08:00

im sitting in the council room again !!! in my 3 minus two hours break i am reflecting abt wat mdm loke said just now. its always wat she said tat hit me the hardest-- for i dunno wat reason!!! well this is wat she wrote on my LEP essay:"lets sit down and review on this essay some time !!" sigh ... wat can i say man -- LEP had become just another subject for me, no more deep interest for chinese any more. probably because the program is exposing more and more of my weakness in the language. wat the hell la !!! she saw me at the c anteen yesterda and keep sighing in vain for my low standard essay.!! tat reminds me of my atrocious GP !!!

well THE ONE was on yestarday and i am both proud and disappointed for the event. Thou i didnt contribute much yeaterday but i felt as if its an council event tat i had a part in it. good thing was this year's event was so mch better compared to last "common lunchbreak event" with lots of serious work put into deatiled planning. even ms yap felt tat its was a ad hoc more than a CCACO event. i was much dispponted tat we couldnt control the rowdy crowd very well... i was quite pissed of the audience who were passing crude comments of the contestents. apparently they continued dispite our constant reminder. frankly i am very prond of the council, much of them came down to help and CCACO did their signficant to revive the spirit of THE ONE !!

well ms chiew was briefing us on our results aft the event yesterday. she set a target of 2 'A' LEVEL PASSES AND A PASS IN GP. wat can i say man---my confindence for GP had diminshed recently... zhen you commented tat ts not a difficult target to ahieve .. but i felt with the coming O2 and my council camp ad hoc, mugging means --" i dun know how am i going to do tat" well the only thing i can do is to " take a step at a time"

anyway, time for LEP le ... mdm loke =" ARRGGHH"

dun give roses!!!

2006-02-15T14:46:00.000+08:00

i am sitting in councl room now and zhiming is roaring beside my ears now !!! STH TAT I LEARN DURING GP-FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION!! NOW I UNDERSTANDING WHY THE MUSLIM AROUND THE WORLD ARE GETTING SO UPSET UPON THE PROHET CARTOONS...BECAUSE THEY'RE BEING DISCRIMINATED FOR SPEAKING WADS ON THEIR MIND
WEIJU SAYS THIS SLD BE A BALANCED ESSAY.."AS LONG AS HE MAKES HIS POINT..ITS OKAY.."
CHOY SAID:"EVEN AM IMPULSIVE PERSON THINKS HE WUN GIVE ROSES TO A GIRL U DUN LIKE.."
swee said:"tts nt the point"
swee said:" if u gimme a gay porno...i'll automatically assume tt u're gay..."

GM LEHHHHHHHHHHHHH WTH..SIANX (-_-"")

rain again

2006-02-10T23:39:00.000+08:00

it was raining this afternoon. rainy days used to affect my mood greatly, making me so damm down. but recently my schedule of work had even steal the time away for me to be upset. however today, somehow i met julian during my break. he suggest sitting at the grandstand and talk. i was pretty bothered by his choice cause i still had so much of tutorial and council camp stuff to do- and he wants to spend this time sitting around ??!! eventually i found myself sitting at the grandstand under the greying sky.

not long aft, it rained

julian was saying he love rainy days

with empty grandstand and open field, the rain brought me back to the yester-years

i was sitting around relaxing on tat very granstand when i entered NY

tat very freedom and ease is never found now

tat was quickly followed by my council election campaigning/publicity

but now im stepping down in 3 months time.

it has been a long time since i think abt my life- how empty it is, just plain chasing aft my work

have i been missing out something in life ??

memories of the place ppl and lifestyle i used to enjoy doing

now is nowhere found in my life any more

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

was flipping through my sec sch's year book just now

i regretted my choice of breaking all the ties with my previous sch

for a very silly reason

i spent 4 years of my life there

my sec sch lit teacher once said this:" BV may not have any significance to you now, but aft u graduate from BV, it would be a special memory in ur life."

i didnt xpect tat to be true at all.

i was wrong

BV is a special place to me now, it had added value to me

thou nothing significant but i was given chance to grow and learn

its the very place where my friendship, happiness, love and sorrow were shared.

i was hoping tat i could service the school tat guided me to mypresent state.

one day i would .........

.......

2006-02-07T16:44:00.000+08:00

its 4.45 on a tuesday afternoon. well i'm happily sitting at home thou still in college U but at least i can arrive home before the sun sets, its been a long time since i am dismissed this early.

i was really high today .. haha

other den ZIjia's brainless post-watching-'i not stupid" syndrome

my bro drove me to sch today

well i woke up late again today and was too broke to take cab AGAIN

i was thinking abt the days in primary sch where my mum would fetch me

i would be elated whenever my mom fetches me to sch(thou my pri sch is only 2 blocks away)

i experienced that same kind of happiness this morning **grins**

i was seeing things on a different perspective this morning

i was really glad my bro agreed to drive me this morning.

this act of love energised me the whole day

i am being loved aft all

back to my mugging session

i realised my progress in lacking behind in my class

i was rather defeated not because my classmates were strong competitors

but most of them r pure slackers

and yet i am lagging behind such ppl -- i cant accept that of myself !!

i understand im too critical on them

but the true fact is i am not the same frequency as them

(prob they r not the same freq. as me--watever!!)

they possess the exact attitudes that i detest and abhored

i am a STUDENT COUNCILLOR

yes S-T-U-D-E-N-T comes first

whatever it is council is not gonna put me behind others

but instead push me beyond my limits

CHINESE NEW YEAR

2006-01-31T23:13:00.000+08:00

这几天我有真正活着的感觉。

农历新年又到了

小的时候非常喜欢过年

those were the innocent days where anything new would amused me.

even thou new year visiting were e standard routine every year

i was happy

break away from sch was great

i enjoyed every second of that.

steamboat with council was normal but satisfying

shoppin wif ah jun was hell hilarous *smirks*

first day of new year is a little special with hao chen around.

its lik the sense of lost now. bro and sis had their own cars already

so its lik i'm alone at the back of dad's car

in the past its squashed with so many ppl

seond day of new year was lik ppl visiting my place

i went movies with family-i not stupid 2

it was thought-provoking and touching

i was greatly disgusted by the guy behimd tat was kickin my dad's and mine seat

SO IRRITATING

the movie really highlighted the problem of miscommunication

lik wat my dad and i had

his theory is totally subjective sometimes---wat the hell la !!

i've decided to listen 2 wat he says next time

AND THEN take in wats suitable.

i was takin in too much of his crap last time, resulting in misconception of myself.

today the council went visiting. the whole 20 of us from 28th. from CZ to mS CHIEW to Vannessa to Lionel to my place.

By the time they reach my place they were beat and hungry

poor souls la --- i should have let them home earlier !!

the guys drank at my place !! OMG

luckily everything was alright when we just pretended nothing was there

but choy went so drunk--sigh i really dun know wat 2 do lor !!

its so freakin when he strated blabbering nonsense(thou he always blabber nonsense even he's not drunk) but he's just weird and he started punking, lik a lot a lot

lookin at him really reminds myself not to drink AT ALL.

i really dun knoe wat i would become if i was drunk ....

sch is reopening -- back 2 reality

这几天我有真正活着的感觉

这感觉将在天逐渐破晓时，慢慢死去。

我现在能做的只有把握每一刻的美好

细细地咀嚼。。。

is those days back again ??

2006-01-26T18:38:00.000+08:00

finally the week had ended.

mood swings r on full invasion

anger is in the air

work load: econs tutorial, maths tutorial, LEP revision. O2 logistics work,

council camp-book kayaking dates, welco think of next college-wide project

mood status: vexed.frustration.disappointment.irritation

i want more time i want more understanding i need strength i need courage

parents wants me spent more time with them. sister question my ability to juggle matters. O2 demands my immediate attention. council camp needs my early preparation. welco requires my prompt action. LOKE wants me to be less involved in council. PANG nagging me to do my work !! KOOI is constantly reminding me of my pressing tutorials.

seeking seeking, seeking for my way out of the green pasture

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my sis recently stayed over with at my place wif nephew, Hao chen.

he'd relly adorable and his screams r too adorable to be tolerated some times. =X

wat can i say man-- i can study, sleep, lead my life lik b4 ..

but seriously im gonna miss him when he's moving back 2nite

one always learn to cherish when its gone

revelation

2006-01-20T18:30:00.000+08:00

wat does council mean to you ??

wat does nanyang mean to you??

wat does work mean to you??

i've just realised tat i'm gonna graduate from NY soon

really soon in fact

i gonna miss everything from mrs ho to the alverton gang

from 0G 29 to shamless publicity to those gruelling push up sessions as elects to " clear school b4 9pm" and those LEP hassels

wat does all this mean to me now ??

i look at those J1s now and they r just lik me several months ago

probably even me now

i've realised ...... (to be cont'd"

i've made it

2006-01-17T23:00:00.000+08:00

these school is SUPER DEMANDING. like wat i always say--- DEMANDING IS GOOD but its really stressful too. cant stand it lor and LOKE today pointed out a crucial point tat school is gettin tougher. wat can i say man --- i've only myself to rely on from now.

LEP -- sometimes i just dun understand why i took it up in the first place. dis freakin programme had took away the very last bit of interest in me for MANDARIN. workload is lik 2 subject. syllabus is sppedin lik bullet train.

i just dun get it why am i puttin myself thru this

i dun knoe if its me or wat -- i always sense this sarcasm in LOKE

double pun and all the hidden daggers

extreme anguish la

wat can i say again--council bound to exsit slackers la

sometimes they tot they could get off lik tat

but wat can i say man-- IM NOT GINNA LET THEM CARRY ON LIK TAT

AT LEAST NOT IN MY COM

i dun understand-- as councillors is it so diffiicult to help in doin some committee stuff ??

some brainless cleaning of lockers is it so difficult ?

but i cant even get full strength

even the councillors from others committee agree to help immediately they r being approached

PLEASE LA dun give the bull shit tat u need 2 study and rest

todays task only require 2 hours the most

u guys have proven tat u could commit all u can during O1

but not now ??

sian la. the rest of the council r goin to cover for time till the end of time of no one do anything abt this OBVIOUS problem. ok i've seen tat everyone choose 2 turn oblivous to this.

of course its an easier way out.

these days

2006-01-13T23:07:00.000+08:00

today is finally not a rainy day. yup tats means a happier day for me. i saw u again today, probably u didnt notice it.i knoe i should just stop doin this BUT i cant

these days its the fear of facing my fears tat haunts me.

i dun even 1 2 blog abt it here any more

its too painful 2 reminiscence everything again

i tried reachin home early today aft the movie nite wif council

movie nite was pretty awesome( and i mean it)!! Pegasus do rox sometimes

ping qi's mum gave me a lift and i reach home super early lik 9.30

but no one's at home cause its my cousin's 21st birthday.

its all retribution ?? really ???!!

during GP discussion, i was labeled "cynical"

thats pretty true of me thou

i need sleep to get back on my feet.

i've got LEP to mug, MATHS to chiong, ECONS to revise

WELCO to prepare, O2 to think about, COUNCIL CAMP to worry

so i need sleep now.

all those lovely soul out there hu endure my little screams during "SHUTTER"

THANKS A LOT

i love u all

chilling rain

2006-01-10T23:29:00.000+08:00

i hate rainy days. rainy days make me sad. rainy days r crap. rainy days reminds me of you.damm.damm.damm

todays rain is really crap. it didnt stop.

i did my work lik a little nice girl

i took my nap as i always did when i was a child

i went back to work again

i'm here with my blog aft all

daddy was home midday

he seems lonely

he's on TV alone

but i cant do much

mummy's home all day(as always)

she's tired probably

they r asleep now.

those were the days where i love public holidays

daddy would be home by midday

he would bring me out

a movie a trip 2 e museum a foto-takin trip a walk a dinner

anything as he tried his best 2 bond this family 2gether

now he never tries

probably because of his age

probably because he's tired

probably because of his commitment

probably because he dun find a point in doin tat anymore

probably he just wants his own time by himself

from tat i convince myself that he is probably happy watching the TV alone on a holiday aftnn

there r so much i need to do for my parents

BUT

i just dun knoe how

i tried to talk i tried to help i tried to understand

BUT

there seems to be this wall

from july onwards, i will be the only living wif them

BUT

can i ensure tat i'm always there for them??

daddy, mummy

love me just tell me u guys love me. cause i cant seems to sense it these days.i understand u guys may be tired. but i'm just askin u a small favour. i would knoe how to love u guys if u show me how.

i love you

past 15 hours seems lik forever

2006-01-09T22:30:00.000+08:00

today seems lik forever.

today seems lik a endless race

today seems lik a happy day

you have had a great day i could tell

i'm glad that you are

today seems lik forever

lady luck is probably not on my side

mister time is not helping as well

not even mummy is standing by me

daddy r u there ??

today seems lik forever

the past seems daunting

present - frightful

future-seems wretched w/o you

pacing oneself on the route of life, choosing to turn oneself away from the undesired, from the heart-wretching, from you

life would have been better if u were there just for me

i aim high , far too high , i could only let you seek your path, the path that u always enjoy before everything, the path that u always enjoy till today.

today seems lik forever

1st day of school for me ....

2006-01-09T11:39:00.000+08:00

i'm lik sitting in the com lab now apparently waiting for my lep group mates to come la !! there goes my break !! i'm starving and they seem to leave me to wait here !! cheryl hurry come back !!??
well econs and GP today are the wake-up call for me !! oh dear .. sian sian sian work r overdued. didnt expect mr teo to be so strict abt work--too used to the slack ms tay already. sigh the worst is yet to come --- i didnt bring the "hong loumeng" for LEP2 later. sian one and half hour of sleep later for sure. Maths is due on wed and mr kooi is not gonna let me off lik tat la !!

but anyway, i was trying my best 2 read my econs during lecture lor -- ms jeeva just send me 2 sleep. signing off now-- my group mates r busy, so i,m goin for my lunch !!!

Bye!!

its time to face reality

2006-01-08T11:48:00.000+08:00

well its a sunday morning again ... i have this huge pile of work tat dates back 2 i dun know when ??!! i'm gonna have a tough time catching up for sure .. but i'm gonna press on ya !!! i would not give up so easily this time.

last nite i was laying in bed thinkin abt the yester-years. sweez quoted tat i alomost slipped in de******** few days ago. well i dinnt realise tat. 2005 is full of downs downs and little ups. the last time i gotta an attack was when i couldnt keep up wif the pace of work. here am i now, not keepin up wif schoolwork again.... yes i'm worried again, i'm worried i would make the same mistake again--running away from reality.

huimin, lets just face it, school is not there to eat u up ok ?? help is out there, is all up 2 u to acknowledge the problem and resolve it-- u shall not back off!!!

ok i shall go do my work now. those tat's readin my blog now-- u should go study too isnt ??!!

bestow me courage and strength!!

2006-01-07T17:11:00.000+08:00

I've just skipped this morning's CIP ... bleh !! dun wanna go lor !! wa liao and steamboat is cancelled. suddenly just wake up in the morning and there's no council-- ok I'm in a state of lost la

yup PROJECT X is over. orientation one require moths and moths of planning but it just vanishes in mere 4 days .. when i first stepped as a councillor, O1 seems lik such a un-do-able project. look at us now-- WE HAVE DONE IT, 28TH !!

DAY ONE
wow.. i woke up super early and shared cab with winnie and audrey. i wasn't too sure wat to expect la .. the day start with choy and i cheering "G-R-I-F-F-I-N" , the response was expected la-- no reponse !! aft tat i went 2 set up my games station. frankly i didnt had much confidence in conducting well."PLAYING OCTOPUS ON DAY ONE OF O1" SOUNDS CRAZY ISN'T ?? but teng leong and kin wei was really excellent helpers... high five for the OGL games conductor^5!
however, i have 2 emphasis tat there r OGL who r out 2 make trouble !! they apparently showed defiance and relunctance in co=operating... tat boils mu blood lik hell!!

inside me i sensed this inferiority-- simply because i not equipped with the technique 2 deal with such missdeeds which r coming from my peers. well sweez made a very good point -- dun sound authoratative, deal with the person aft ur game-- dun letr him get away lik tat !! well ms chiew gave us a 65 4 today!!

DAY TWO
well this is a good day .. my games station was GREAT !!! chop slip was sth that i've not done b4 .. i was given councillors 2 help me :P tat really boost my morale and confidence :P they came and they CHEERED AND CHEERED AND CHEERED LIK no body business. tat was really encouraging at least they were enjoying themselves. BUT sth happened-- ogls start chasing my coucillors down the GRANDSTAND !! the simply SA-BOING session is a BIG NO-NO!! come on ur J2S r doin such dangerous things IN FRONT OF THE J1S ??!!! i screamed at the OGL 2 STOP !!

thou i admit its not the best way 2 do it but tats the fastest way 2 stop any mishap from happening !! lesson learned 2day : dun lie the OGL get away lik wat u did ,.. stop him immediately.. talk 2 him in an objective way ok ?

generally 2day ok, i felt satisfied tat i've conducted 10 sessions of briefing in the morning and they enojed my game !! wow-- that's whole lot of satisfaction minus the small mistake !! i slept quite late tat nite preparing for my briefing of beach games 2mr -- confidence lvl: zero!!

DAY THREE
SUPER STRESS !! i really didnt had much confidence in takin charge of the happenings on the beach games!! PLUS i had 2 brief the ogls OF THE BEACH GAMES. if u asked me, my tone of giving instructions and getting a serious msg across is -- authoratative and blunt !! from previous days mistakes i made disturbed me quite a lot . the situation came for me 2 brief -- i just went on and on of all the things tat i prepare 2 say. PHEW !! i managed 2 brief them and i went SUPER ok -no cork up and they co-operated :P well i always had no confidence --- simply because i'm alwasys anticipating mishaps, i'm always assumming tat the OG r out 2 make trouble. lesson learnt: they r der to help u tats wat their job rite ?? ok be more optimistic can ??

we moved on 2 siloso and logostics wise semmed a lot lacking -- i had missing logistics here and there !! johnny wat happened la ??!!
well the games carried on pretty smoothly just a little problem on crowd control and mislead OGs !! OK my stress level was lik super high during lunch time. this was wat happened . a jeering session happened during lunch tim btw MJ and us !! ms chiew suggest 2 me tat i should adress tat issue since they r waiting in the pavillion or the rain 2 stop. simutanoesly, an OGL is calling 4 me 4 1st aid. another asking when 2 start game. and at the same time i was munching my lunch with super dirty hands !!

the rain came pretty abruptly,when the decision makin moment when onto me -- i hesistated, wondering if i should seized all games. lesson learnt: dun panic den u can think properly !!

so i went i was frantically searching 4 a lond hailer 2 address them .. my head was sorting out what 2 say !! then i saw ms chiew standing at the other side of the pavillion observing me !! that time i was super stress !! all i did was asking 4 a cheer and i start my addressing my dispatching !! well some of them cant heard me .. now i knoe how 2 use a loud hailer properly !!
aft tat the games went smoothly, i was doing my KLKK job of walkin here and there!!

logis cleared and we came back!! i was extremely tanned and exhausted by then. of course we had a hilariously time on the bus when a mysterious girl start screaming into our walkie talkie --- its quite scary thou!!! debriefing time, it was a 85 today !!!

wow i really felt the council deserved tat. we had our usual tribal cheer who had a diff significane for me. i looked arund me from johnny to wei fang to cunzheng to sandar to even qiu han. all of them were cheering their haearts out. they have came a long way, this was the 1st time i could fell tat sense of acomplishment.eg. johnny from tat bo-chap johnny in wleco 2 now logis head in O1, he came a long way !!

FINALE DAY
morning was pretty distartrous i woke up lik 5.30 am la !! wa liao my phone no batt and all the morning calls cant come in la !! i ran out of the house and winnie was waiting der already !! luckily we got der timely at six !!

u see my orientation day revolves around games games .. sigh so i went to set up games staion the 1stt few groups were pretty enthu.. their enthu-ness was really sth tat push us on and on and encouraged us 2 be better !! but my tat little confidence was shattered by fafa la !! he came and commented my station was boring !! well i broke down unfortunately. cause my responsiblity as a games conductor was 2 made sure i did my best in it.however i apparently didnt did it well !!

the games com is obviously overloaded. i feel tat shouldnt happened again lla!! O2 com pls adress tat k. well so i requested for help and fortunately huishan ping qi wei jun cam e 2 help .. i was doin KLKK again at the same time doin some soul-searching. aft tat i decided 2 go 4 griffin and peggie dance session :P wow tat was another morale-boaster session!! i danced and danced and danced lik ten songs !! haha tat will make up for the all the dance session i have missed !! faction time i was clearing logis 4 games. cheering competition&dancing king and queenwas fabulous .. i finally able have the chance 2 be wif GRIFFIN !! we cheered and cheered and cheered !! ha ha GRIFFIN OGLS GOOD JOB DONE !! GROFFIN J1S I LOVE U GUYS LA !!

disco nite came as a high point for O1. for me its the 3rd disco note i had, 3 diff disco 3 diff experience. one as a J1 once as a OGL once as a councillor!! towards the end when we did the final NY cheer, i was on stage wif the hall packed wif J1S cheering wif us admist their fatigue and sweat !! thats how far the J1S came .. from day one- no response to 2day's enthu NANYANG CHEER !!

i was dead beat, pure sournes in my feet and fatigue in my head. debrief came it 95 FOR US !!

28th u guys have done it once again. we came a long way from council camp 2 now:P

it was u guys who showed me what was discipline,commitment and attitude !!

i have grown, i am enriched and touched as well !!

finally all thanks 2 those who make O1 A SUCCESS, from J1S TO OGLs to my OGL games conductor to my councillors to ms chiew and council teachers :P

a special new year's day !!!

2006-01-01T02:16:00.000+08:00

yes i've just spent another new year's countdown in my life!! new year's day countdown once had a great significance in my life. well it still do now but of diff. Significance thou **smiles** 2006 arrived with the company of my parents at a family friend party. its the time of the year where i think back of my mis-endeavors and mis-deeds too !! Definitely the time where i reminisces the 2004 countdown too ..................

i had led a pretty underachieved year of 2005 thou ** shugs** BUT HEY i've got 2006 to change everything now !! my current status:

1) piling homework tat ought 2 be done ages ago

2) bedroom tat's in a extreme havoc ( yes i mean havoc)

3) parents= pain in e neck!! they r tearing me apart sometimes **grrrr~~***

well here's my RESOLUTION FOR THE YEAR 2006

1) commit more time into my studies .... A LOT MORE

2) make an effort 2 show LuRVA for my parents and my nephew too ** giggles**

3) manage my finances better ... sigh 2005 is the year of bankruptcy BUT 2006 shall be the year of bundles of savings !!

4) come up with a college-wide project for welco by Feb !! yes we eager need tat !!

5) LEARN driving by year end!!

6) do not fall asleep in lectures and tutorials!!

7) stepped down of council with pride and no regrets for O1 O2 AND COUNCIL CAMP

8) train the 29th well !!

9) allocate some time 2 bond wif my sistas and bro .. all my friends!!

well looks lik 2006 is the year of more council, passing off 2 29th, A Levels , parents, fiance management, driving and prob work @ e end ...

bestow me strength and courage !!!