joan ng hui min. 09101988. s'pore. bedok view pri/sec. nanyangjc. bedok. daughter. sister. sister-in-law. aunt .cousin. granddaughter. currently employed :p
she is currently doing well now :p happily sleeps and eats all day. thou she's working now she misses school i think. but anyway studies will only come again nine months later. so currently its about making more money and doing the things she loved with the ppl she enjoyes. simple life as it. looking for her ? she's working at CK forum :p
finish As in one piece
learn driving
put on braces
go beita/ fudan
study business/ chinese/ economics/ accounting
earn more income
learn piano
learn chinese calligraphy
spend less money
acquire the skills of teaching
get married one day !!!
Tuesday, January 31
CHINESE NEW YEAR
这几天我有真正活着的感觉。
农历新年又到了
小的时候非常喜欢过年
those were the innocent days where anything new would amused me.
even thou new year visiting were e standard routine every year
i was happy
break away from sch was great
i enjoyed every second of that.
steamboat with council was normal but satisfying
shoppin wif ah jun was hell hilarous *smirks*
first day of new year is a little special with hao chen around.
its lik the sense of lost now. bro and sis had their own cars already
so its lik i'm alone at the back of dad's car
in the past its squashed with so many ppl
seond day of new year was lik ppl visiting my place
i went movies with family-i not stupid 2
it was thought-provoking and touching
i was greatly disgusted by the guy behimd tat was kickin my dad's and mine seat
SO IRRITATING
the movie really highlighted the problem of miscommunication
lik wat my dad and i had
his theory is totally subjective sometimes---wat the hell la !!
i've decided to listen 2 wat he says next time
AND THEN take in wats suitable.
i was takin in too much of his crap last time, resulting in misconception of myself.
today the council went visiting. the whole 20 of us from 28th. from CZ to mS CHIEW to Vannessa to Lionel to my place.
By the time they reach my place they were beat and hungry
poor souls la --- i should have let them home earlier !!
the guys drank at my place !! OMG
luckily everything was alright when we just pretended nothing was there
but choy went so drunk--sigh i really dun know wat 2 do lor !!
its so freakin when he strated blabbering nonsense(thou he always blabber nonsense even he's not drunk) but he's just weird and he started punking, lik a lot a lot
lookin at him really reminds myself not to drink AT ALL.
i really dun knoe wat i would become if i was drunk ....
sch is reopening -- back 2 reality
这几天我有真正活着的感觉
这感觉将在天逐渐破晓时，慢慢死去。
我现在能做的只有把握每一刻的美好
细细地咀嚼。。。
huimin on 11:13 pm
Thursday, January 26
is those days back again ??
finally the week had ended.
mood swings r on full invasion
anger is in the air
work load: econs tutorial, maths tutorial, LEP revision. O2 logistics work,
council camp-book kayaking dates, welco think of next college-wide project
mood status: vexed.frustration.disappointment.irritation
i want more time i want more understanding i need strength i need courage
parents wants me spent more time with them. sister question my ability to juggle matters. O2 demands my immediate attention. council camp needs my early preparation. welco requires my prompt action. LOKE wants me to be less involved in council. PANG nagging me to do my work !! KOOI is constantly reminding me of my pressing tutorials.
seeking seeking, seeking for my way out of the green pasture
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my sis recently stayed over with at my place wif nephew, Hao chen.
he'd relly adorable and his screams r too adorable to be tolerated some times. =X
wat can i say man-- i can study, sleep, lead my life lik b4 ..
but seriously im gonna miss him when he's moving back 2nite
one always learn to cherish when its gone
huimin on 6:38 pm
Friday, January 20
revelation
wat does council mean to you ??
wat does nanyang mean to you??
wat does work mean to you??
i've just realised tat i'm gonna graduate from NY soon
really soon in fact
i gonna miss everything from mrs ho to the alverton gang
from 0G 29 to shamless publicity to those gruelling push up sessions as elects to " clear school b4 9pm" and those LEP hassels
wat does all this mean to me now ??
i look at those J1s now and they r just lik me several months ago
probably even me now
i've realised ...... (to be cont'd"
huimin on 6:30 pm
Tuesday, January 17
i've made it
these school is SUPER DEMANDING. like wat i always say--- DEMANDING IS GOOD but its really stressful too. cant stand it lor and LOKE today pointed out a crucial point tat school is gettin tougher. wat can i say man --- i've only myself to rely on from now.
LEP -- sometimes i just dun understand why i took it up in the first place. dis freakin programme had took away the very last bit of interest in me for MANDARIN. workload is lik 2 subject. syllabus is sppedin lik bullet train.
i just dun get it why am i puttin myself thru this
i dun knoe if its me or wat -- i always sense this sarcasm in LOKE
double pun and all the hidden daggers
extreme anguish la
wat can i say again--council bound to exsit slackers la
sometimes they tot they could get off lik tat
but wat can i say man-- IM NOT GINNA LET THEM CARRY ON LIK TAT
AT LEAST NOT IN MY COM
i dun understand-- as councillors is it so diffiicult to help in doin some committee stuff ??
some brainless cleaning of lockers is it so difficult ?
but i cant even get full strength
even the councillors from others committee agree to help immediately they r being approached
PLEASE LA dun give the bull shit tat u need 2 study and rest
todays task only require 2 hours the most
u guys have proven tat u could commit all u can during O1
but not now ??
sian la. the rest of the council r goin to cover for time till the end of time of no one do anything abt this OBVIOUS problem. ok i've seen tat everyone choose 2 turn oblivous to this.
of course its an easier way out.
huimin on 11:00 pm
Friday, January 13
these days
today is finally not a rainy day. yup tats means a happier day for me. i saw u again today, probably u didnt notice it.i knoe i should just stop doin this BUT i cant
these days its the fear of facing my fears tat haunts me.
i dun even 1 2 blog abt it here any more
its too painful 2 reminiscence everything again
i tried reachin home early today aft the movie nite wif council
movie nite was pretty awesome( and i mean it)!! Pegasus do rox sometimes
ping qi's mum gave me a lift and i reach home super early lik 9.30
but no one's at home cause its my cousin's 21st birthday.
its all retribution ?? really ???!!
during GP discussion, i was labeled "cynical"
thats pretty true of me thou
i need sleep to get back on my feet.
i've got LEP to mug, MATHS to chiong, ECONS to revise
WELCO to prepare, O2 to think about, COUNCIL CAMP to worry
so i need sleep now.
all those lovely soul out there hu endure my little screams during "SHUTTER"
THANKS A LOT
i love u all
huimin on 11:07 pm
Tuesday, January 10
chilling rain
i hate rainy days. rainy days make me sad. rainy days r crap. rainy days reminds me of you.damm.damm.damm
todays rain is really crap. it didnt stop.
i did my work lik a little nice girl
i took my nap as i always did when i was a child
i went back to work again
i'm here with my blog aft all
daddy was home midday
he seems lonely
he's on TV alone
but i cant do much
mummy's home all day(as always)
she's tired probably
they r asleep now.
those were the days where i love public holidays
daddy would be home by midday
he would bring me out
a movie a trip 2 e museum a foto-takin trip a walk a dinner
anything as he tried his best 2 bond this family 2gether
now he never tries
probably because of his age
probably because he's tired
probably because of his commitment
probably because he dun find a point in doin tat anymore
probably he just wants his own time by himself
from tat i convince myself that he is probably happy watching the TV alone on a holiday aftnn
there r so much i need to do for my parents
BUT
i just dun knoe how
i tried to talk i tried to help i tried to understand
BUT
there seems to be this wall
from july onwards, i will be the only living wif them
BUT
can i ensure tat i'm always there for them??
daddy, mummy
love me just tell me u guys love me. cause i cant seems to sense it these days.i understand u guys may be tired. but i'm just askin u a small favour. i would knoe how to love u guys if u show me how.
i love you
huimin on 11:29 pm
Monday, January 9
past 15 hours seems lik forever
today seems lik forever.
today seems lik a endless race
today seems lik a happy day
you have had a great day i could tell
i'm glad that you are
today seems lik forever
lady luck is probably not on my side
mister time is not helping as well
not even mummy is standing by me
daddy r u there ??
today seems lik forever
the past seems daunting
present - frightful
future-seems wretched w/o you
pacing oneself on the route of life, choosing to turn oneself away from the undesired, from the heart-wretching, from you
life would have been better if u were there just for me
i aim high , far too high , i could only let you seek your path, the path that u always enjoy before everything, the path that u always enjoy till today.
today seems lik forever
huimin on 10:30 pm
1st day of school for me ....
i'm lik sitting in the com lab now apparently waiting for my lep group mates to come la !! there goes my break !! i'm starving and they seem to leave me to wait here !! cheryl hurry come back !!??
well econs and GP today are the wake-up call for me !! oh dear .. sian sian sian work r overdued. didnt expect mr teo to be so strict abt work--too used to the slack ms tay already. sigh the worst is yet to come --- i didnt bring the "hong loumeng" for LEP2 later. sian one and half hour of sleep later for sure. Maths is due on wed and mr kooi is not gonna let me off lik tat la !!
but anyway, i was trying my best 2 read my econs during lecture lor -- ms jeeva just send me 2 sleep. signing off now-- my group mates r busy, so i,m goin for my lunch !!!
Bye!!
huimin on 11:39 am
Sunday, January 8
its time to face reality
well its a sunday morning again ... i have this huge pile of work tat dates back 2 i dun know when ??!! i'm gonna have a tough time catching up for sure .. but i'm gonna press on ya !!! i would not give up so easily this time.
last nite i was laying in bed thinkin abt the yester-years. sweez quoted tat i alomost slipped in de******** few days ago. well i dinnt realise tat. 2005 is full of downs downs and little ups. the last time i gotta an attack was when i couldnt keep up wif the pace of work. here am i now, not keepin up wif schoolwork again.... yes i'm worried again, i'm worried i would make the same mistake again--running away from reality.
huimin, lets just face it, school is not there to eat u up ok ?? help is out there, is all up 2 u to acknowledge the problem and resolve it-- u shall not back off!!!
ok i shall go do my work now. those tat's readin my blog now-- u should go study too isnt ??!!
bestow me courage and strength!!
huimin on 11:48 am
Saturday, January 7
I've just skipped this morning's CIP ... bleh !! dun wanna go lor !! wa liao and steamboat is cancelled. suddenly just wake up in the morning and there's no council-- ok I'm in a state of lost la
yup PROJECT X is over. orientation one require moths and moths of planning but it just vanishes in mere 4 days .. when i first stepped as a councillor, O1 seems lik such a un-do-able project. look at us now-- WE HAVE DONE IT, 28TH !!
DAY ONE
wow.. i woke up super early and shared cab with winnie and audrey. i wasn't too sure wat to expect la .. the day start with choy and i cheering "G-R-I-F-F-I-N" , the response was expected la-- no reponse !! aft tat i went 2 set up my games station. frankly i didnt had much confidence in conducting well."PLAYING OCTOPUS ON DAY ONE OF O1" SOUNDS CRAZY ISN'T ?? but teng leong and kin wei was really excellent helpers... high five for the OGL games conductor^5!
however, i have 2 emphasis tat there r OGL who r out 2 make trouble !! they apparently showed defiance and relunctance in co=operating... tat boils mu blood lik hell!!
inside me i sensed this inferiority-- simply because i not equipped with the technique 2 deal with such missdeeds which r coming from my peers. well sweez made a very good point -- dun sound authoratative, deal with the person aft ur game-- dun letr him get away lik tat !! well ms chiew gave us a 65 4 today!!
DAY TWOwell this is a good day .. my games station was GREAT !!! chop slip was sth that i've not done b4 .. i was given councillors 2 help me :P tat really boost my morale and confidence :P they came and they CHEERED AND CHEERED AND CHEERED LIK no body business. tat was really encouraging at least they were enjoying themselves. BUT sth happened-- ogls start chasing my coucillors down the GRANDSTAND !! the simply SA-BOING session is a BIG NO-NO!! come on ur J2S r doin such dangerous things IN FRONT OF THE J1S ??!!! i screamed at the OGL 2 STOP !!
thou i admit its not the best way 2 do it but tats the fastest way 2 stop any mishap from happening !! lesson learned 2day : dun lie the OGL get away lik wat u did ,.. stop him immediately.. talk 2 him in an objective way ok ?
generally 2day ok, i felt satisfied tat i've conducted 10 sessions of briefing in the morning and they enojed my game !! wow-- that's whole lot of satisfaction minus the small mistake !! i slept quite late tat nite preparing for my briefing of beach games 2mr -- confidence lvl: zero!!
DAY THREE
SUPER STRESS !! i really didnt had much confidence in takin charge of the happenings on the beach games!! PLUS i had 2 brief the ogls OF THE BEACH GAMES. if u asked me, my tone of giving instructions and getting a serious msg across is -- authoratative and blunt !! from previous days mistakes i made disturbed me quite a lot . the situation came for me 2 brief -- i just went on and on of all the things tat i prepare 2 say. PHEW !! i managed 2 brief them and i went SUPER ok -no cork up and they co-operated :P well i always had no confidence --- simply because i'm alwasys anticipating mishaps, i'm always assumming tat the OG r out 2 make trouble. lesson learnt: they r der to help u tats wat their job rite ?? ok be more optimistic can ??
we moved on 2 siloso and logostics wise semmed a lot lacking -- i had missing logistics here and there !! johnny wat happened la ??!!
well the games carried on pretty smoothly just a little problem on crowd control and mislead OGs !! OK my stress level was lik super high during lunch time. this was wat happened . a jeering session happened during lunch tim btw MJ and us !! ms chiew suggest 2 me tat i should adress tat issue since they r waiting in the pavillion or the rain 2 stop. simutanoesly, an OGL is calling 4 me 4 1st aid. another asking when 2 start game. and at the same time i was munching my lunch with super dirty hands !!
the rain came pretty abruptly,when the decision makin moment when onto me -- i hesistated, wondering if i should seized all games. lesson learnt: dun panic den u can think properly !!
so i went i was frantically searching 4 a lond hailer 2 address them .. my head was sorting out what 2 say !! then i saw ms chiew standing at the other side of the pavillion observing me !! that time i was super stress !! all i did was asking 4 a cheer and i start my addressing my dispatching !! well some of them cant heard me .. now i knoe how 2 use a loud hailer properly !!
aft tat the games went smoothly, i was doing my KLKK job of walkin here and there!!
logis cleared and we came back!! i was extremely tanned and exhausted by then. of course we had a hilariously time on the bus when a mysterious girl start screaming into our walkie talkie --- its quite scary thou!!! debriefing time, it was a 85 today !!!
wow i really felt the council deserved tat. we had our usual tribal cheer who had a diff significane for me. i looked arund me from johnny to wei fang to cunzheng to sandar to even qiu han. all of them were cheering their haearts out. they have came a long way, this was the 1st time i could fell tat sense of acomplishment.eg. johnny from tat bo-chap johnny in wleco 2 now logis head in O1, he came a long way !!
FINALE DAYmorning was pretty distartrous i woke up lik 5.30 am la !! wa liao my phone no batt and all the morning calls cant come in la !! i ran out of the house and winnie was waiting der already !! luckily we got der timely at six !!
u see my orientation day revolves around games games .. sigh so i went to set up games staion the 1stt few groups were pretty enthu.. their enthu-ness was really sth tat push us on and on and encouraged us 2 be better !! but my tat little confidence was shattered by fafa la !! he came and commented my station was boring !! well i broke down unfortunately. cause my responsiblity as a games conductor was 2 made sure i did my best in it.however i apparently didnt did it well !!
the games com is obviously overloaded. i feel tat shouldnt happened again lla!! O2 com pls adress tat k. well so i requested for help and fortunately huishan ping qi wei jun cam e 2 help .. i was doin KLKK again at the same time doin some soul-searching. aft tat i decided 2 go 4 griffin and peggie dance session :P wow tat was another morale-boaster session!! i danced and danced and danced lik ten songs !! haha tat will make up for the all the dance session i have missed !! faction time i was clearing logis 4 games. cheering competition&dancing king and queenwas fabulous .. i finally able have the chance 2 be wif GRIFFIN !! we cheered and cheered and cheered !! ha ha GRIFFIN OGLS GOOD JOB DONE !! GROFFIN J1S I LOVE U GUYS LA !!
disco nite came as a high point for O1. for me its the 3rd disco note i had, 3 diff disco 3 diff experience. one as a J1 once as a OGL once as a councillor!! towards the end when we did the final NY cheer, i was on stage wif the hall packed wif J1S cheering wif us admist their fatigue and sweat !! thats how far the J1S came .. from day one- no response to 2day's enthu NANYANG CHEER !!
i was dead beat, pure sournes in my feet and fatigue in my head. debrief came it 95 FOR US !!
28th u guys have done it once again. we came a long way from council camp 2 now:P
it was u guys who showed me what was discipline,commitment and attitude !!
i have grown, i am enriched and touched as well !!
finally all thanks 2 those who make O1 A SUCCESS, from J1S TO OGLs to my OGL games conductor to my councillors to ms chiew and council teachers :P
huimin on 5:11 pm
Sunday, January 1
a special new year's day !!!
yes i've just spent another new year's countdown in my life!! new year's day countdown once had a great significance in my life. well it still do now but of diff. Significance thou **smiles** 2006 arrived with the company of my parents at a family friend party. its the time of the year where i think back of my mis-endeavors and mis-deeds too !! Definitely the time where i reminisces the 2004 countdown too ..................
i had led a pretty underachieved year of 2005 thou ** shugs** BUT HEY i've got 2006 to change everything now !! my current status:
1) piling homework tat ought 2 be done ages ago
2) bedroom tat's in a extreme havoc ( yes i mean havoc)
3) parents= pain in e neck!! they r tearing me apart sometimes **grrrr~~***
well here's my RESOLUTION FOR THE YEAR 2006
1) commit more time into my studies .... A LOT MORE
2) make an effort 2 show LuRVA for my parents and my nephew too ** giggles**
3) manage my finances better ... sigh 2005 is the year of bankruptcy BUT 2006 shall be the year of bundles of savings !!
4) come up with a college-wide project for welco by Feb !! yes we eager need tat !!
5) LEARN driving by year end!!
6) do not fall asleep in lectures and tutorials!!
7) stepped down of council with pride and no regrets for O1 O2 AND COUNCIL CAMP
8) train the 29th well !!
9) allocate some time 2 bond wif my sistas and bro .. all my friends!!
well looks lik 2006 is the year of more council, passing off 2 29th, A Levels , parents, fiance management, driving and prob work @ e end ...
bestow me strength and courage !!!
huimin on 2:16 am
